Diary of an Ascending Addict

One giant difference between this sobriety wagon and the previous ones, is that I keep feeling better and better.

I felt good sober before, that’s not the point. I guess what I’m saying is that when I felt this good sober before and wanted to celebrate like I do now, I’d want to celebrate … drinking. And often I’d go back to drinking, simply because it was my only way of conceptualizing celebration (Bacchus, get away from me LOL). It had to involve drinks, partying and loud music, preferably house.

This is completely different. My celebration is my newfound ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Cliché but true. And by simple I mean washing the dishes, sweeping the floor or just daydreaming about nothing, feeling like I have all the time in the world.

 Life has become sacred to me.

I know that if it hadn’t been for this radical healing that took years, decades in the making… If it weren’t for this grueling journey, cycle, and yes, transformation – where so many times, I just felt like dying, literally – without that and the continuous presence, the never failing help, encouragement and sometimes tough love of my Spirit guides and God, I wouldn’t be here.

At this wonderful, amazing, awesome, delightful, exciting, wondrous, exhilarating boiling point.